i just came from our rooftop and witnessed a great great lightning scene from the heavens awhile ago..and before being called by my dad to come down and prepare the food i'll be having for dinner, i've already decided to put my thoughts to blogging..
well, it's just nice to have a place like our rooftop where i can ponder upon things and leave all the baggage i'm carrying behind.. sometimes it does help to raise everything to the ground and just look up to see the skies complete with emotion and commotion while the beauty of the clouds, the moon, the stars and all other heavenly spectacles do not disrupt the peace of mind the ambiance of the night brings me..
for some reason i came thinking about how my life's going on right now..i mean, the feeling i'm having is actually of content despite the many problematic instances i've encountered a week or several days ago..the circumstances were all sprouting from false decisions i've made and i do admit that i was foolish for being so impulsive about hastening the process of solving things in a very uncertain and rushed way..i cannot say that it'll be all charge to experience because certainly i've wasted so much..time, effort, resources and a lot of chance to improve myself in my academic life..i do say 'shit happens' always, but for now, i think i'll be saying that 'shit happens if i happen to make shit and not clean it up after'.. at some point i can say that i've been exhausted from being immature and indecisive..and to some extent, i regret and continuously regret those recently concluded episodes of personal decisions i've made..i've been selfish and prideful and i never really did put into discernment the actions that i was so eager to take..
to reflect totally about these, i've been mediocre..and i'm still not moving this very instant to correct the things that need to be corrected..
I'M LACKING DIVINITIES THAT'S WHY I'M NOT ABLE TO PROCESS THINGS EFFICIENTLY..
the statement is quite a conclusion i've just made..i hope i'm right about it..
i do want to push forth motion..i want to move forward..i want to take responsibility for all the things i've done..i want to change badly..i want to be better..
and i need to start somewhere..because i know that i cannot just be complacent with the things i have right now..and apparently, i need to work for the permanence of the blessings i'm having..
no guarantees, everything will be fatal..but i do have the hold in making chances possible..and so i have to do the things needed to be done..most especially that i'm holding very precious values at this present and i cannot afford to lose them just because of foolishness, irresponsibility or mediocrity..
i'm lacking divinities, that's why i'll be looking at the skies again and ask for the heavens to shower me the spirits that'll make me move forward..:))
i trust my intuitions and i know i can do right this time.
