there's this thing we call 'attraction' and it can happen overnight:
the hell i'm totally deluded with these things again.... ...
It's not easy to get out of an illusion perfect in composition. It had this ambient atmosphere compacted with a deep yet simple exchange of expressions between two individuals. Certainly, I never expected that I'll be reminiscing this moment repetitively. There's really no clear explanation why I'm feeling imbalance existing among time elements-past, present and future. I'm bothered a lot and this isn't a matter to be neglected in reference to where I'm coming from.
Questions, revelations and prognostics are filling my mind. As far as I can remember, I caught these concerns just days ago, however, they just don't seem to sink or even dissolve in realizations whenever I try to close my eyes and scrutinize the bits of details I have in my memory. There were these instances which gave me curiosity about backgrounds and stuff. Sometimes, I tend to conceive of ideas revolving around impressions and social relations. Ironically, I often think that being haphazard is just a normal part of my instability and inconsistency when I really don't possess such confusion in dealing with personalities as well as emotions. Bottom line of this disorganized analysis and thinking structure is that I'm once again affected sporadically and weakly by recent occurrences in my life.
At this very point of blogging, I turn blank. All I have in my mind are pictures of that night when heavenly reality got hold of my understanding to tell me who I am and what I've become after excruciating experiences from childhood up to the point of maturity. Apparently, I gave in to what the situation called for. I conceived of the happening as a chance to make the conversation more concentrated on alleviating dilemmas which reflected my self from hers. The initial impact was light and comforting, but as the momentum went fading I unknowingly put myself into a trap. By this time, I'm sure I can't succeed in exiting this realm of captivation. I badly need help. To prioritize wisely, I badly necessitate helping first.
It's fortunate for many that I decided positively in putting this mess here. People say I don't have issues to settle at the present which is why my life has been deemed boring for them. Well, if issues are what they crave for, then I may let them comprehend to what this pandemonium is saying.
They call theirs issues, I call them hypocritical bullshit.
My life is entropy.
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